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Something About That Summer Void

  Something About That Summer Void Long wet summers filled by the void of you. what am I without you the effect of years spent together never acknowledging what we were. My first and worst. Countless emotions to describe your not who you used to be, talent is gone left by the sound hot wet and sufferable, the best I can do is leave just to do the same elsewhere. The seasons never change some things we (don't) have in common a new one every month. who am I, what have I become, is this me or a facade.  without you I'm not me, without you I cant breathe, but when i am with you I suffer my actions predetermined by you. the summers are long and in-escapable sitting with myself, missing your void your black hole. would i be better off with-(out) you or am I the man I am today thanks to you, parts of us missing only the other can fill.

long nights

  long nights long nights filled with the absence of you are what I long for. the feeling of being able to do what I want, be who I need, and be young (not) living my best life. the sunsets are more intricate without you here able to focus on my own thoughts rather that yours (about me) I can't live like this forever if 'I spend too much time in my mind I will find I have lost it' hoping for you to be there. Endless nights spent trying to be silent while the others sleep yet not caring who hears the sounds you make.  P.s To be honest I'm talking about my boom box in part of this

Sunrises in Niantic

Sunrises in Niantic I'm going to wake up at 5:00 Am to watch the sunrise sometimes I wish I had someone to watch it with me a friend or more but maybe its best if this becomes a personal experience something positive to remember myself by for when I inevitably change every day I remanence whether it be a time before I saw something to relive a moment or to experience something I was never alive for this experience can just be another file in my mind that I can possibly share with someone new or something simple and nice that I will never remember sitting on a balcony wishing I  was with someone other than the spiders between the spokes finally feeling something real in this never ending cycle of self pity and boredom even a true friend in-between the lines of a friend and something more will fill my void why do I crave the attention and love of people if my personality will always drive them away why do I have to change myself to feel something real.     Originally p...