Grey

 Am I the boy with no heart? I can't fall in love, I've yet to try but I assume that's not something that you need to try to do. I thought oh as soon as they start using my name in a sentence it's over. But it's not. Every time I imagine it it's grey. I want to be the smoke drifting off the curl of you lips but I can't stand the smell. I want to be the sheets on your bed, dirty and a bit darker than when I was first bought, thrown on right after buying, you were too excited to wash me. I have a bit of a sour smell from accumulated sweat but your used to it. Throw me out or wash me. 

I could just be a symptom of romanticism holding it out for the perfect person but never being content. I'm just an under confident egoist.

Note: I was just checking LJ and saw I had a draft (it was up to "But it's not") this is sort of true (I lied about disliking the smell of cigarettes)I feel like I can't fall in love but i also want to, its probably some weird trauma related thing I was always excluded by my peers as a kid so I probably felt unwanted and that seeped into teenage life. This is inspired by Gray by Pete Wentz (surprise considering the title) 

Ps. yo I'm back. I haven't been on my emo socials since winter break I will probably be more active over the summer cause ill be bored. I can feel my summer emo tearing at my skin to escape.

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