I want a summer fling
This is probably the worst way to have your first relationship, spending a month or two infatuated than spending the rest of your life apart or awkward friends. It will be the best time you ever had and you won't know it until years later when your yearning for that same feeling, looking at their sunburnt skin so dearly, walking around town trying to find anything to entertain each other for a few minutes, sweating in the sweltering heat, trying to find someplace mostly private, that weird nostalgia on the fourth of July as you run with them to find someplace more fitting to celebrate. I know it can never end well it will always end up tearing something deep within me that I will always feel but never be able to find. I just want someone to spend my summer with and than forget that intimacy when it all ends. This could all just be my lack of ability to hold onto something meaningful or feelings of inadequacies, I don't recall ever wanting more from someone than just a few months, I know that makes me an ass but I just can't see myself being so comfortable around someone.
12/30/24
11:00am
Note. This was meant to just be brain throw up but it sort of turned out poetic, per-usual my weird obsession with The Summer of Like always surfaces but this is for the most part true. I usually spend 2 weeks in Connecticut and if you have looked at my past entries that place gets me sentimental and lonely cause I am pretty much there alone for two weeks and the only people I do see are my family, family friends, or strangers, I have so much history there but no one to show for it.
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